Saturday, July 11, 2009

Greasy Spoons: Raising Cane's

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I don't rave about too many chains or franchises; I've been taken to Sonic and Waffle House, but when you've got diners up the wazoo they're not all that special. However, one I wish would make it north of the Mason-Dixon line is Raising Cane's, a chicken restaurant. All they make are chicken fingers! But as the adage goes, they do it well.
If you want a chicken sandwich, they'll put them on a bun for you. And you get some tasty Texas Toast and fries with your fingers, along with their signature Cane's sauce for dipping. I first had them after a night of drinking at The Chimes near LSU in Baton Rouge, and they were delicious. And this time, they were the first food I wanted when I landed in Louisiana. Sure, if we'd hit the Quarter I'd have gotten begneits or a mess of boiled crawfish, but fast food was required- and Cane's is simply the best drive-through restaurant I've been to in a long time.
Their chicken fingers are lightly breaded and extremely juicy, not greasy, and the tangy sauce compliments them perfectly. The Texas toast could be a little crispier but it's a fine side, and their fries are top notch for crinkle-cuts. About the only ones better I've had at a fast food joint are at Five Guys Burgers and Fries, and even then it's a close battle! Cane's is that good. And their story is about as entertaining as the food itself.
Working at Cane's is a rite of passage

As Firecracker told me many times, her fellow LSU alumnus Todd Graves came up with the idea for a chicken finger restaurant as a business class project, for which he received a C minus. He didn't let that deter him, and worked up in Alaska at a salmon cannery (according to Wikipedia) to raise funds to start the first restaurant. He named it after his yellow Lab Raisin' Cane, and since 1996 the place has been a hit- they have many locations, including as north as Minnesota I now see, and they made $97.3 million selling chicken fingers last year. Not bad for a C-.
I like his business model of opening near major universities, and I hope Rutgers in New Brunswick, or even Princeton makes the cut sometime. Since it's a drive-thru I can't see it at NYU, so you New Yorkers will have to rent a zipcar or something. It's worth it! Boston is a big college town, so maybe they'll be next.

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Public Enemies

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Warning: Mild Spoilers ahead. Because the story is rather well-known, I will be a little free with facts here. If you don't know how Dillinger's story ends, you might not want to read this yet.

Michael Mann's Public Enemies delivers a strong character drama that further romanticizes the myth of John Dillinger, but doesn't live up to the reputation of either the bank robber or the director, who's given us much better films such as Heat and Thief. The story of Dillinger and his pursuer Melvin Purvis is gritty and gripping, but lacks emotional punch and thematic consistence. And in the end, both men remain a mystery. I found the same problem with Miami Vice, which drops us in to the lives of undercover cops and takes a long time before making us care about them. So we have a good film, but not a great one. Like with Ali, he faces the familiar question of 'how do you make a story everyone knows compelling?'
Mann went to extraordinary lengths to use the real locations for the scenes they re-enact. The Biograph Theater. The Ohio prison that they restored, for Dillinger's infamous breakout. And the shootout at the Little Bohemia lodge, filmed at the original lodges still pockmarked with bullet holes from the original battle. This does give the film an unmistakable aura of authenticity, coupled with the excellent performances by Depp, Bale, Marion Cotillard as Billie Frechette, and even Billy Crudup as J. Edgar Hoover. The script plays around a little with order of events and minor details, but is mostly true to form. But what it chooses to concentrate on seemed to interest Michael Mann more than myself.
Purvis and Hoover- hints at a great story.

Which was odd. I'm a sucker for a gritty crime film and authenticity can substitute for substance for me; maybe that's why I like Thief (full review) so much. But consider the emotional power in that film's diner scene, or when James Caan is berating the woman at the adoption agency. Reflect on Heat, with Pacino's bombastic explosions constrasted with his quiet face-off with DeNiro in ... a diner. Depp and Purvis meet early in the film, when Dillinger is locked up in an Ohio jail, but we get little interplay except that we have two Mann heroes- driven men, whose work defines them, clashing once again.
What little emotional power the film has centers around Billie Frechette, a coatcheck girl that Dillinger fancies, and takes along with him on his 18 month crime spree. They meet; he wins her over with the line, "I like baseball, fast cars, nice clothes, whiskey, and you. What else you need to know?" and next thing you know they're at a Miami horse race. Bonnie and Clyde (full review) it's not. Later, when she is captured by the FBI- who have taken to brutal tactics at the urging of Director Hoover, who needs a high profile bust to get the Congressional funding he wants- we are relived at Purvis's moral authority as he intervenes during her interrogation. However, he's let off the hook for the civilian slaughter at the botched Little Bohemia raid, which like the famous bank heist shootout in Heat, gives the end of the second act a much-needed shot of adrenaline.
Marion Cotillard, exuding class and beauty as always

The script tries to make Dillinger and Frechette's relationship into a tragic romnance, but here it veers from its Bible of authenticity to give us an emotional handhold, and we can feel its fakery. Dillinger was not a romantic, and his desire to live fast and not think about the future precluded love stories; he was with a prostitute shortly after Billie's capture. The poetic license doesn't end there; Baby Face Nelson, properly portrayed as the psychotic loose cannon he was, met a much less dramatic end in reality. The FBI led by Purvis gets a surprisingly improved portrayal, even though Mann takes pains to compare Hoover's demands for results leading to the torture of wounded suspects and their molls. Illegal wiretapping is constantly on view, in the tangled switchboard operator dens. Perhaps the title Public Enemies doesn't just refer to Dillinger, but also to Hoover? Mann is quite subtle with this, but teases us with a much more interesting subtext.
But in the end, we're denied. Purvis's story, the South Carolina lawman who brought in Texas police with gunfight cred to put the final nail in the coffin of Depression-Era flashy bankrobbers, is just as interesting as Dillinger's, but it gets short shrift. Purvis's tragic end is given a mere epitaph before the credits, but I wanted to see more of his internal battle with Hoover. Bale plays the film with laconic moral authority, from the opening scene that shows him as a hunter of men, as he guns down Pretty Boy Floyd with a sporting rifle. Depp's performance captures the essence of Dillinger with that sly grin, cold eyes, and snappy movements. He was called "the Jackrabbit" for his agile movements in robberies, and Depp leaps over counters with ease. You can't fault the performances in this movie. In fact, lookout for character actor Stephen Lang to make a big splash in Cameron's Avatar; he steals a lot of scenes as Agent Winstead here. He's best known for playing Sherman in Gettysburg but damn if he doesn't remind you of late-career Sterling Hayden and a bit of Lee Marvin.
Stephen Lang flanked by two lawmen

Perhaps the story lies on the cutting room floor. We also get a small subplot about the Chicago mob, led by Frank Nitti, who've taken to bookmaking and illegal gambling and given up the wild street shootouts now that Prohibition is long gone. To them, Dillinger and his ilk are heat they don't need, and they make it clear. Sure, it's an interesting footnote to history, but it fits better in a movie like The Godfather than here. In the end, we get a solid drama but one that leaves much of the mystery intact. Dillinger spent ten years in prison after pleading guilty to a grocery store robbery after he couldn't find a job in '29; the long sentence soured him against society. That's left completely unexplored. But I must admit that for two and a half hours, Mann had me riveted with his stunning cinematography, sharply directed action scenes that never confuse, and excellent performances from his cast (I'd also like to thank Mr. Mann for NOT using desaturated colors and going digital. Hollywood- people still saw in full color in oldtimey days). Perhaps I'll glean more from future viewings. Perhaps.
I'd like to thank my pal Ian Fisher for details on Dillinger, and for recommending the Lawrence Tierney film from 1945, which I plan on watching soon. That, the John Milius film with Warren Oates as Dillinger, and the movie he & the Lady in Red saw at the Biograph, Manhattan Melodrama, are the next 3 films in my Netflix Queue. Watch for a comparison of the three coming soon.

Rating: 4 out of 5 tommyguns

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

80's Trash of the Week: Surf II

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Let's watch Eric Stoltz, Cleavon Little, Ruth Buzzi, Stork from One Crazy Summer, Holden from Blade Runner and super-nerd Eddie Deezen in a ridiculous beach horror spoof about a nerd who creates Buzzz Cola to turn surfers into vile metalhead zombies! And no, there's no "Surf 1."

Surf II is one of those cheapo titty teen flicks like Joy Sticks (full review) and Student Bodies (full review) made for a quick buck. How Eric Stoltz and Cleavon Little ended up here after Blazing Saddles and Fast Times at Ridgemont High is beyond me, but here they are. Little is one of my favorite underappreciated actors, and here he plays Principal Daddy-O, ruling over a class of unruly surfer slobs that he trades "yo mamas!" with, and who race to the beach when he tells them two of their classmates died while surfing. The local radio station is "The Dildo, stickin' it to ya as always, K-DIL!" and girls love to spontaneous flash their boobs at guys with surfboards on their roofs.
Cleavon, why?

The lead cop is Lyle Waggoner, Major Steve Trevor from "Wonder Woman," who plays Chief Boyardie. His deputy is Inspector Underwear. Yes, it's that kind of movie. And here at Pluck You, Too!, we like that kind of movie. There's a sort of charm to this level of stupidity that oft gets overlooked. There's nothing clever about it, but the audacity of dope required to make a movie like this and put your name on it, well I respect that. There is actual surfing in this movie, but this is no North Shore (full review); but it does have plenty of its own pluses. For example, Chuck (Stoltz) and his pals, including the fat party dude Johnny Big Head and Jacko- Judge Rheinhold-alike Tom Villard- all hang out at the arcade, so there's plenty of '80s video game nostalgia for you.
Johnny Big Head and Eric Stoltz, pre-Mask

Their rivals are some punks from L.A. who wear make-up reminiscent of KISS meets Goth, and can remove Buzzz Cola bottle caps with their eye sockets. They are transformed into zombie cola-guzzling monsters by Menlo the Uber Nerd in his underwater lair, which also mangles any surfers on the waves above it. Menlo is played by Eddie Deezen, probably most famous as the voice of Mandark from "Dexter's Lab," has made a career playing gangly whiny nerds in Grease, 1941, Midnight Madness and Wargames. In fact, I distinctly remember him playing a guy in a military uniform whose balls get attacked by a German Shepherd- if you remember that movie, put the name in the comments.
At the beach, the kids play volleyball and girls have this niggling habit of losing their tops. Oh, stuff like that just happened in the '80s. Heck, when I was 13, I remember waiting in line for the rollercoaster at Great Adventure on a hot day and this chick was fanning her skirt, and not wearing any panties. She was probably inspired by movies like this. The beach is also infested by two Fat Guys- that's their names in the credits, too- who don't speak, but are just generally disgusting. When we meet them, they both fart so loudly it tears the backs of their wetsuits open, and we're treated to a view of hairy ass-crack. If only their antics ended there...

Things begin go awry when Jacko gets a dose of Buzzz Cola and begins acting strangely. His eyes darken, and he begins guzzling motor oil like it's Kool-Aid. See, this is all part of Menlo's diabolical plan to ruin the summer surf contest and get his revenge on the surfers. His henchgirl Sparkle, played by Aussie cutie Linda Kerridge, is a nerdgirl that he's made gorgeous with Science!!! and who does his bidding so she doesn't revert to her former self.

He gives her blue hair and make-up like Pris in Blade Runner, and soon his monster cola zombies are eating frogs in science class, and eating the film at the movie theater. Jacko's pals try to lure him back from the slob side, but it ends up turning into a contest of whether he or Johnny Big Head can eat the more disgusting stuff, starting with seaweed and dead fish that washed up on the beach and culminating in the Fatso Twins eating sub sandwiches covered in seagull poop. And farting, of course. It's like one of the movies Jack Black's character made in Tropic Thunder.

Sadly, Tom Villard gets little screen time while he's not a zombie. He was one of the funniest parts of One Crazy Summer (full review) but tragically died of AIDS-related pneumonia in '94, after performing in a Paulie Shore movie. Not sure which is worse. Lyle Waggoner is quite entertaining as the corny cop, Eric Stoltz is always good and doesn't try to ape Spicoli, though it would be the perfect movie for it. Cleavon Little steals every scene he's in as usual, but it's not much of a victory here. The movie just drags on way too long.
Blue moon... I saw you standing alone... without a dream in my heart...

The gags mostly miss, but they come so fast that some actually hit. A kid glues his feet to his surfboard so he can't fall off; Cindy Lou and Lindy Sue- the two plain girls with glasses who get passed over by Chuck & Jacko for busty beach babes, are constantly working a "I must increase my bust" exerciser or calling the cops when the boys are smoking weed with random bimbos. On the other hand, we're subjected to frog races in science class put to "Chariots of Fire," and guys eating birdshit sandwiches. Johnny Big Head jumping around like The Hulk, and the finale where Menlo reveals why he wants revenge- because he was spiked with a sex change drug- are just funny enough to make this turd watchable.

"You know what it's like being the only guy on the beach with tits? It's miserable!"

It does have a good '80s soundtrack going for it, with Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded me with Science," Talk Talk, Oingo Boingo, the Stray Cats, the Circle Jerks, plus surf music from the Beach Boys, Dick Dale, and the Nightriders. Apparently it was released, and it would be a fine score on vinyl, and probably would cost more than it's worth. Sometimes you need a trip down memory lane to remind you that the good old days weren't that great, and Surf II will remind you that everything looks better in the rear view mirror.
Beers Required to Enjoy: 3
Could it be remade today? not a chance in Hell
Quotability Rating: zero
Cheese Factor: fondue-riffic
High Points: Cleavon & Lyle
Low Point: Birdshit eating & hairy ass cracks
Gratuitous Boobies: Lost count!
All 68 entries in our ongoing series of 80's Trash of the Week are here.

And your daily dose of healthy breasts are after the cut:








Hurray for boobies!
The girls respond to the mooning.

Fatboy gets knocked out by knockers.


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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Hump Day - Olivia Munn

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I missed out on the hotness of Olivia Munn because I never watched Attack of the Show on G4 (geek cred: revoked).
And boy do I regret it. She was in Playboy this month and tastefully kept herself mostly covered, as I learned from fellow LAMB blogger The Action Flick Chick.
As Newt says, "Mostly."
Men who don't make passes at girls who wear glasses- are asses.
Look Ma, no airbrush! Still hot.

I must say I am a fan of the southerly creeping bikini bottom that's so popular of late.
She's going to be in Iron Man 2, so look out Megan Fox.
She won the hearts of nerds everywhere by dressing as Slave Leia from Return of the Jedi:
Girls, one more reason long hair is your friend:
(Just stay away from heavy machinery)

Once again proving that leaving something to the imagination is the best policy:



The only nudes out there are bad photoshops, and I respect her decision to not appear topless. She has a strong commitment to fine cheesecake photography and I thank her for bringing a touch of class to it.

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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Red Stick Appreciation Society

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New Orleans is a lovely town to visit, but Baton Rouge has its charms as well. Further up the river, the state capital is not as lurid or exciting, but for a chunk of American suburbia it has its own character and plenty of things to do. In fact, during this visit we didn't even go to New Orleans at all, and still had a great time. Here are some highlights- not exactly hifalutin', but lots of fun!

The Big-Ass Bass Pro Shop
Next time I come down here I am fishing. Between this humongous fishing mecca and the Swamp Tour I went on, I need to catch me some Louisiana bass and try for alligator gar. They have some in the tanks in the shop, along with ducks and alligator snapping turtles. They also have a seafood restaurant- we'll have to try that next time. I wonder if the small lake outside is stocked with that night's specials?

Ninfa's
Here and Houston are your only chances for some excellent Tex Mex at Ninfa's. Up north we only have chains and franchises for it, or genuine Mexican like at Acapulco Caliente uptown, which makes some kickass burritos, mind you. Ninfa's does the classics right- tasty without being too greasy or heavy, and the usual mass of combinations that will satisfy even the pickiest of eaters. I had a taco, enchilada and some pork fajitas all in one. Their margaritas come in beer mugs so it's a sane portion. I like getting drunk as much as the next guy, but I don't need a 1500 calorie drink with my fried beans, thanks. Ninfa's may not knock your socks off but they are reliable and consistent.

Rat Fink'z Snoballz
Sno-balls are sort of between what we northerners call sno-cones, or Hawaiians call shave ice. We stopped at this little hut in Denham Springs on the way back from tubing down the Amite, to cool off. They are incredibly sweet, satisfying the diabetic Southern sweet tooth with ease. But the sheer infinity of flavors available are worth writing home about.


Louisiana Lagniappe
photo from the now-defunct Unique Culinary Adventures Blog

Firecracker's parents took us here for dinner, and it was fantastic. It's a mildly upscale seafood restaurant full of surprises. I had the black drum beurre blanc topped with softshell crawfish, and a caesar salad topped with tasty fried oysters. It was one of the most memorable meals I've had in a long time. I didn't even know you could eat soft shell crawfish, but they are delicious- crispy and not mushy at all, with the firm tail meat inside and the juicy head all crisped up for you. Definitely worth a visit for classic Southern cuisine Louisiana style.

Chimes East
Last time we visited the Chimes by LSU, and I still prefer that location. Chimes East has a good beer selection as well, but the set-up makes it feel like a typical bar, similar to a TGIFriday's or something. I had a dozen oysters here and the gals had cheese fries. All good, but it was just too... bright! The other Chimes feels cozier, and the line of taps before you is awe-inspiring. If you visit, go to the LSU one.

Community Coffee
I want to give CC their own post sometime. They really make the best coffee I've ever had at a franchise, the smoothest, most flavorful brew. I had an iced coffee almost daily. Louisiana iced coffee is make like tea- you soak the grounds for 12 hours, using a dark roast, in water and then strain it. This makes a concentrate, so adding ice doesn't make piss-water. And it has the potent coffee flavor of a good coffee ice cream. I didn't even need sugar. Just some skim, and this refreshing beverage kept me cool in the 100+ degree heat we suffered the whole time. Their Mochasippi drinks are delicious too, and their standard brew- I prefer Between Roast- is some of the smoothest coffee you'll find. They are online if you want to order, and they are on twitter if you have questions.

Tiki Tubing
Firecracker wanted to go tubing, so we went to Tiki Tubing in Denham Springs. For $56 we got two comfy tubes with backrests, floats for our ice chest, and some ziploc bags for our keys. They drop you off in a school bus upriver, and it takes you about 4 hours to float back to where you started, along the Amite. This river floods a lot, but this was during near-drought, so we were fine. Heck, I even caught a catfish barehanded! Okay, it might have been half dead, but the Yankee got some Southern cred. I tried to revive it by pulling it backward in the water to force water in its gills, but I think he's turtle food now. I'm pretty sure I stepped on a turtle, too. Or a human skull.
The tubing was the most memorable part of the trip, not only because we got second degree sunburn- Bullfrog SPF36 waterproof for 8 hours? more like BULLSHIT!- but because it was so relaxing and chill. There must have been a few hundred of us, and there was only one arrest for fighting- not bad for hundreds of drunken young people. The weather was gorgeous and the water was nice and warm, and only over neck deep in a few spots. Muddy as hell, but when I dropped my Revo sunglasses, I got lucky and stepped on them without breaking them somehow. Otherwise Sunglass Hut would be richer. I'm a sucker for polarized lenses and my Maui Jims got smashed. RIP.
A crawfish tower in their backyard

The only downer of tubing is that you can't bring glass bottles, so most of the good beers are out. We couldn't find Pork Slap, and Guinness is tough to drink out of the can with that widget moneyshotting you in the face. We settled on Heinken- fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!- since Abita is only bottled so far. We also had sandwiches and some snacks. I wonder if you can go fishing while tubing? Or noodling. I recently heard of a tubing run down the Delaware, where there's a hot dog boat- so next year I hope to try it.

Jay's Donuts
We hit Jay's on the way to Louis Armstrong airport; they're homemade, and famous for King Cakes around Mardi Gras time. They made one of the best apple fritters I've ever had, and the chocolate glazed man- which had disturbing implications- was delicious. Coffee's ok, too bad there's no CC's next door! Definitely worth a try if you have a sweet tooth, and better than Krispy Kreme.
So that was our Baton Rouge adventure- at least what I can remember. I posted about the Swamp Tour and our visit to Abita Brewery earlier (click on the Louisiana tag below, to find them). So if you go their for business or pleasure, there's plenty to do without driving down to Bourbon Street. Vive la red stick!

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Monday, July 6, 2009

Remembering Brandon Lee: The Crow

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Before Heath Ledger's little pill misadventure prior to his stunning performance as The Joker made it to screen, another actor playing a white-faced smiling avenger in a breakthrough role died before the film was released. Brandon Lee, starring in Alex Proyas's adaptation of the brutal comic mini-series, The Crow. Due to a tragic and avoidable accident on set, Lee was shot and died 12 hours later in the hospital. The shooting was ruled an accident; with only 8 days of shooting (sic) remaining, the producers finished the film with stunt doubles, in an eerie déjà vu of his father Bruce Lee's death and the subsequent posthumous release of his final film, Game of Death.
Even eerier was the plot of the film itself, about a murdered musician back from the grave to avenge his death and his raped and murdered fiancé, Shelly. Directed by Alex Proyas, it's a dark visual feast that proved incredibly influential to films that followed. Lee played Eric Draven, the seemingly invulnerable revenant who hunts down the Detroit thugs who killed him; he rises from his grave when a crow alights on it to caw. Once he has risen, he will not rest until he's killed everyone involved, and only appears to a young street girl named Sarah, and a sympathetic cop (played by Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson) who stayed with Shelly as she died.
Brandon had previously appeared in a fun but forgettable martial arts actioner called Rapid Fire, and an "unlikely buddies" cop duo with Dolph Lundgren shooting and karate chopping their way to a Showdown in Little Tokyo. That film gets a bad rap, and while ridiculous- it's made by the same director as the iconic action flick Commando- both Lundgren and Lee make amusing banter out of lines Shane Black would be ashamed to write. They have fun with it, and Lundgren shows range unexplored in most of his other work. Lee was a newcomer, but nearly stole the show with graceful martial arts moves and a snappy sense of comic timing.
In The Crow, he had to play something completely different. A dark and brooding Goth icon clad in a leather trench coat, plastered with white make-up and an ironic doll's smile. After all, the character created by James O'Barr was based on an amalgam of Ian Curtis, Peter Murphy, and Iggy Pop and the story came from the author dealing with the death of his girlfriend by a drunk driver. Dark stuff. Not something your typical martial arts action star does. But Lee took the character and made him into a playful demonic apparition, not an obsessed Ahab but a spirit not only bent on dragging his tormentors to hell, but comforting the living. In one of the best scenes, he corners Sarah's junkie mother (Anna Levine; the cut whore in Unforgiven) and squeezes the heroin out of her veins, telling her "Mother is the name of God on the lips of all children. Your daughter is waiting."
The film is peppered with great dark dialogue from O'Barr's excellent comics, such as Eric's sick joke as he torments a pawnbroker: "Jesus walks into a motel, and hands the innkeeper three nails... and says 'Can you put me up for the night?'" Jon Polito plays the pawnbroker, great as always; you've seen him in the Coen Brothers movies, here and there. The cast also includes Tony "Candyman" Todd as a memorable mob gunman, David Patrick Kelly (Sullie from Commando) as gang thug T-Bird, and first-timer Rochelle Davis as young Sarah. She played the role well, but never appeared in a film again. According to articles, she is still disturbed over Brandon's death, and sadly, has fallen in with people like Eric's killers (full article).
The screenplay by splatterpunk alumni David J. Schow and John Shirley only falters where it dips into the Hollywood well that demands comic relief; if this were made after The Dark Knight, it would be a different story. But perhaps the brief respites from the oppressive wasteland of the Detroit metro area on Devil's Night are what the story needed. Alex Proyas, in his first Hollywood film, brings great visual chops to the board. The film is brutally dark but we manage to see everything we need. When Eric sends T-Bird and his car exploding off a pier, he tags the scene with some lighter fluid, giving us a flaming crow silhouette. We get many "crow's eye views" as Eric's harbinger bird of death soars the city seeking his victims.
But it's probably the fight scenes that were most felt. In the final confrontation between Eric and the gang leader (played with an oily evil grin by Michael Wincott) in a roomful of gun-wielding thugs, we can't help but recall the Joker in The Dark Knight strutting in to the meeting of his enemies. And while Eric has no pencil tricks, his dripping black hair and decrepit make-up are uncanny. But then again, The Crow came after Batman: The Killing Joke, so who knows who influenced who? One thing is for sure, as Brandon somersaults and pirouettes around the room in his trench coat as bullets fly and decimate the scenery, we know the Wachowski Brothers were watching. The famous lobby scene in The Matrix looks like a pale imitation. The film launched Proyas's career and let him make the excellent Dark City, which may have cribbed a bit from Hellraiser but is still one of the most memorable films of the '90s, melding film noir and science fiction in ways undreamed of since Blade Runner.
But Brandon, he pulled a James Dean and ended before he started. The story is, a .44 magnum revolver used by Funboy was loaded with shells that had the gunpowder removed, and the slugs replaced, so they'd be visible in the cylinders; this was done to save money and time, instead of finding inert shells. The gun expert did not remove the primers. When he went home, the inexperienced prop crew "played with it," and an ignited primer sent the slug into the barrel. Then the gun was loaded with blanks for another scene, and the gun was not cleared. So, when the blank was fired, its gunpowder sent the slug lodged in the barrel into Brandon Lee's abdomen where it hit his spine. His heart stopped before the ambulance arrived, but he was revived, and finally died 12 hours later at the hospital. The shooting was ruled an accident, and as far as I've been able to find, no one was sentenced.
Take that as you will, but John Landis went to court for the helicopter accident in The Twilight Zone; who decided to send the gun expert home and keep shooting? Brandon's death came weeks before the biopic of his father, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story would come out, and the same conspiracy theories appeared. But Brandon didn't know any ninja secrets; he learned from his father's partner, Dan Inosanto. It was yet another tragic death heaped upon the Lee family, but instead of an allergic reaction to aspirin, this time it was reckless, if not criminal, negligence. I have a feeling those involved still suffer, if Rochelle Davis is wrecked over things she had nothing to do with. And I doubt the prop handlers are working in Hollywood, but I wonder. Maybe they were some producer's nephew.
Brandon had great charisma, and probably would have been one of Hollywood's first modern Asian action stars. The Crow was a huge hit, and would make $50 million in the U.S. alone, the tenth biggest R-rated film that year. For a new star and a director with a relatively unknown franchise, that was big. The other hit was the soundtrack, which included O'Barr influences like The Cure, as well as Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, Rage Against the Machine and my favorite, My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult, who also appear onstage at Top Dollar's club performing a remix of their song "Nervous Xians," entitled "After the Flesh." The film definitely would have springboarded him out of the martial arts ghetto with Jean-Claude and Seagal, and who knows what might have been?
Brandon's tombstone is engraved with an epitaph from the novel The Sheltering Sky that he quoted in an interview before he died. It speaks of the brevity of life and is sadly, much too apt a marker for his brief, bright flare on the Hollywood scene. I'll always wonder what could have been.

"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."


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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Atchafalaya Aquatic Gastronomy Tour

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As I've written before, Louisiana is as much a cuisine and way of life as a geographical place. Famous for the Acadian flavor that French trappers exiled from Canada brought to the area, the influence of Old South, Spanish settlers, backwoods ingenuity, Creole and Choctaw all make their presence known in the cuisine. I first found Louisiana through the writings of James Lee Burke, a crime fiction author of great talent- pick up Black Cherry Blues, or the more recent Crusader's Cross for a taste- and droved down to New Orleans with a friend of mine. With how seedy a city it was then and how he portrayed it, it's a wonder I went, and made it back. I remember a handmade sign in the French Quarter decrying the murder and corruption. But I also remember the muffaletta at the Central Grocery, the shrimp etoufee, the boiled crawfish and the pecan pie.
I learned the hard way, the proper way to pronounce pecan. A pee-can is something you piss in, see. But for all James Lee Burke's love of the Atchafalaya Basin and its people, I never made it there until my most recent trip with Firecracker, to visit her family in Baton Rouge. We went on a swamp tour of the Atchafalaya, sampled gator and catfish caught in it, stopped by the birthplace of turducken, and more. We did so much in six days that I have to write about this in several posts. The overlooked plainer sister of New Orleans, the capital city of Baton Rouge, deserves its own article; there's quite a bit to do, and quite a lot of good things to eat in that fine city. I'll save that for next time. This one's all about the fun we had around the Atchafalaya Basin.
Our first trip was to McGee's Landing in Henderson. Not only do they offer swamp boat tours, but they have a nice restaurant and gift shop planted right on the water, serving up the denizens of . We snagged a sampler platter and some po' boys that were delicately battered and fried to perfection; not greasy at all. And let me tell you, I'd had gator before, but never this good. The white tail meat is like the most tender chicken you've ever had texture-wise, and the flavor is like mild white fish. Speaking of which, you've never had catfish until you've had it down South. And Cracker Barrel don't count. Wow, was this good. About the only delicate fish I'd compare to it in flavor and quality is Walleye at the Tavern on Grand in St. Paul.
Also in the platter were shrimp and crawfish, which was thankfully in season. These little mudbugs make towers of mud along the waterways they inhabit. We found one in the ditch behind Firecracker's family house. Of course they serve Abita beer at McGee's, and since it was after noon somewhere we cooled off with a couple Ambers. The tour itself was $20 and in a large shaded flat bottom boat, led by a Cajun tour guide whose name I can't pronounce. He was quite entertaining- Acadian folks seem to have the same gift of gab the Irish are famed for, but in their own way. With the same gallows-humor, though.
We cruised around a bit admiring cormorants, herons and pelicans, the cypress trees and Spanish moss- which was harvested for furniture stuffing back in the days- and got history lessons on everything from how the Basin was flooded, to Henry Ford started Kingsford charcoal with the remains of the wood he shipped from the basin to build Model T's with. The most memorable part of the tour was when we squeezed up a canal to a quiet spot where the gators were used to being fed. After calling them by banging a wrench on the side of the boat, he threw chunks of pork fat to "Bruce," an 8 foot alligator, and a nameless 3 footer who came to get the scraps. Our guide said that a 14 foot bull gator frequented the area, but it was too hot to get a lot of action that day.
The Atchafalaya is the largest swamp in the U.S., and while we have the Great Swamp and the Meadowlands among others here in Jersey, we don't have alligators. The mob would love to have gators around to gobble up evidence, though. The swamp was eerily beautiful and disturbed only by the cut of I-10 above it. There were some houses out on stilts, reachable only by boat, the ultimate in solitude. Next time I visit I vow to do some fishing- big catfish, bass, and prehistoric alligator gar would all be good fun to catch. And eat.
On the way back we stopped at Hebert's Specialty Meats, which I'd seen on Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods. They make the turduckens we've all heard about, and while I didn't have room for a whole turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, I got some turducken sausage and some boudin. They only serve lunch, and we would have missed it thanks to construction traffic on I-10, so we ate at McGee's- and I don't regret it one bit. Though next time I want to get a turducken plate and some boudin balls!

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