Greasy Spoons - Villa Pizza at Port Authority Bus Terminal

If you're stuck at the PABT waiting for a bus, with a feelin' that's as faded as yer jeans, there's only one place to go for that pre or post-drunk and/or hangover food, and that's Villa Pizza.

Now as a rule Villa Pizza and other franchises should be avoided like the toilet seats at Port Authority Bus Terminal. They are an abomination before God, but the Pope made an allowance in Vatican II for one dish at Villa Pizza: the hot dog roll.

Looks like a cockmeat sandwich, but tastes like hot dog heaven.

A special compensation is also made for the sausage, spinach & cheese, and pepperoni rolls as well, but the hot dog one is a magical creation. You take your garden-variety frankfurter and enrobe it in pizza dough, butter it with a pastry brush, and for the piece de resistance, sprinkle dried parsley over it before baking it in the pizza oven. The pizza dough miraculously pulls away from the skin of the hot dog, which plumps and roasts perfectly within. If you wish, you can squirt ketchup or mustard in there, but I'm a purist. Besides, when you're running for a train, you don't want mustard flying all over the turnstiles.

It's a great grab 'n go food. If you need veggies go for the spinach & cheese, which has a bit of crushed red pepper in it for a tangy bite. The pepperoni and sausage are similar to stromboli but lighter, great for absorbing great amounts of alcohol without weighing you down. It's also a known fact that the grease in these foods helps kickstart your liver into alcohol-filtering mode. Plus, they're only a few bucks and easily devoured. For added convenience, there is a street-level Villa Pizza at that nexus of tourist terror, 41st and 8th, the Armpit of Times Square. When you're stuck in an armpit, you need greasy food and beer to survive, so grab a hot dog roll and hike a few blocks up and over to House of Brews on 46th & 9th for a great microbrew selection, and a 96oz table tap. That will make you forget weaving through crowds of clueless lumbering tourist zombies.